The Runner

I have just this once,
This one chance, one life, one opportunity
to shine, or sit
in the box
and wait
wait for somebody to call on me
to raise me up, to show me, to give me a shot,
to tell me they care
or they love me
or they want me
or the need me which is
so much sitting in a box
waiting
why? what’s the point of waiting when i only have
this once, this chance which could be taken
from me
tomorrow, or tonight, or thirty seconds from now
I can’t even count the number of people who had it
within their grasp
and missed it
not for lack of trying but sometimes yes
not for lack of spirit but sometimes just because
they couldn’t see how
bright
their spirits were
how much
we really did care, and love, and now we miss
but i cannot miss, i cannot miss my chance
i offered my heart to you
and you didn’t take it
like a child i felt the hurt
the jolt of inadequacy
of ugliness
of stupid
but that is not me anymore
if it ever was
i am more than how i look
more than how i sound
more than my imperfections
but not more than what i do because
that is
how i define myself to me
and to you
i am what i do in this world
and i am better than you think i am
stronger, kinder, deeper but also more passionate and
sensitive when you laugh at me
know this: I learn from everything
i train on experience
I tone on failure
I get better every day
my understanding of who i am
why i am what i am is based on
what i do with everything i experience
Today i pick it up like a baton and i run with it
faster than you
Good or bad, i have made my experience a tool
but i run the race
against myself
and if i run another day
i win

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